WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
