No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
