Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
