Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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