I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
