There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
