Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
