he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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