I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
