Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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