just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
