If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
