shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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