I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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