Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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