so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
