i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
