Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
