so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
