I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My cat gives me a boner
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
