I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
