pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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