I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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