Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
