I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
