Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
