I just made out with a guy for $7.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
