she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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