just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
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