so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
