He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
