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that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I could fuck to npr.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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