you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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