He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
