WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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