So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
