butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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