Dual....:-)
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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