Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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