i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
