I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
