You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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