I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
