It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Four minutes until I can fart!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
