What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
