You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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