i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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