were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
