"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize