You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
